A grandmother visits her doctor

      When my grandmother was in her eighties,
      she decided to move to Israel. As part of
      the preparations, she went to see her doctor
      and get all her charts. The doctor asked her
      how she was doing, so she gave him the
      litany of complaints -- this hurts, that's stiff,
      I'm tireder and slower, etc., etc., etc.

      He responded with, "Mrs. Weiss, you have
      to expect things to start deteriorating. After
      all, who wants to live to 100?"

      My grandmother looked him straight in the
      eye and replied, "Anyone who's 99."
        A boy is taking care of his baby sister!

      A boy was taking care of his baby sister
      while his parents went to town shopping.
      He decided to go fishing and he had to take
      her along.

      "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother
      that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"

      "Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and
      not scare the fish away," his mother said.

      The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all
      the bait."