Bathroom graffitti  

1) Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some jerk stole the toilet paper,
   Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

2) Here I sit What a caper I have to shit But I'm out of paper

3) Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted

4) You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants!

5) I came here To sit and think. But all I do Is shit and stink,

6) Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink, But I
   come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls...

7) (written high upon the wall) If you can piss above this line, the
   Hillsboro Fire Department want's you.

8) (written high upon the wall above a urinal) Don't look up here, the
   joke's in your hand.

9) Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!

10) Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
    We don't piss in your ashtrays!

11) Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these
    words: "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

12) On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated
    throughout the entire Performance.

13) "$1.49 - All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing down into the toilet)

14) A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so
    please don't pee in our pool!

15) Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's
    no P in it. Please keep it that way.

16) My mother made me a whore. (to which someone else added) If I give her
    the yarn, will she make me one too?

17) Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled: I
    waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

18) In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant: It takes the human body
    about 24 hours to turn good food into shit. It only takes Burger King 10
    minutes.

19) Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make
    your food...please aim properly.

20) Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes,
    I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away.

21) Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall]
    keep looking up [on the ceiling] Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your
    shoes!

22) One of the funniest I've seen was also the simplest: Fart loud if you
    love your arse!

23) While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door:
    Congratulations! You've one one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You
    look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left...

24) Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

25) (written above a urinal) Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed of
    it?

26) Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one.

27) Don't look now! you're pissing on your neighbors foot